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Punishment is a pretty strong word.


It evokes the dread we felt when we were children and our parents caught us doing something wrong or we slacked at work and the boss tore us a new one.

It’s also a key tool in BDSM relationships.

The trick is finding a set of punishments that will correct the submissive’s behavior and result in something more positive. What would be discipline for one person, would be a reward for another.


Example: A submissive regularly shows up late to sessions, dates, etc.

If they love corporal punishment, spanking will only reward them.

Instead, make them sit and write 50 reasons why being late is a bad thing and then read it out loud. They spend the entire allotted time on the list, rather than having a pleasant experience with their Mistress/Master.


Punishment for own fun

When the Dominant feels like having to be in charge through punishing…


Punishment for mutual fun

When both Dominant and submissive seek punishments since they both like and want it…


Punishment beyond fun; real discipline

When the Dominant applies a punishment for wrongly behaving, and both are having no fun

Punishment for Breaking Rules

23 Punishments are (not) Rewards