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Pain: Faceslapping

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What is Faceslapping?


When it comes to sexual spanking, slapping, whipping, we can get a bit uncomfortable. There are questions of whether or not slapping is abuse, harmful, a sign you’re demented, etc. Any erotic pain-play can stir up emotions in many of us. That’s OK! Sex comes with all kinds of emotions, both positive and negative.

Here is the bottom line: If you are both into it, have consented, are turned on, and are adults, slapping is totally OK. In fact, any sexual act between consenting adults is perfectly fine. You’re not a bad person for wanting to slap or be slapped.


Start with soft pats.

Don’t begin your foray into slapping by full-force smacking the hell out of your partner. That’s probably not going to end well. You may end up with a bruise or a black eye. Not cute.

Start with gentler blows. When you’re making out, pull back and lightly slap your partner across the face. Rub the spot where you hit them to soothe the skin. You can also pull them out during oral sex for a slap across the face before you put them back to work.

Work your way up to harder smacks. Communicate and check in. Everyone should be into it every step of the way.


Place your hand on the other cheek.

If you slap someone across the face, you can wind up with whiplash or causing too much of a sting. Instead, place one hand on the opposite cheek of the person you’re slapping. This helps to both stabilize their head and to absorb some of the blow. If you or your partner would like to be slapped without the buffer, you can have that conversation, but I highly recommend you keep it in place for a while. It makes the slap far less of a stinging pain, and even perhaps a bit more passionate.


Stick with non-sensitive areas.

The face is a highly sensitive area that requires careful navigation. Always be cautious.

Stay away from places like the ears or eyes. Focus entirely on cheeks. If you slap someone in the ear, you can cause physical harm in a way that is absolutely not sexy at all. If you accidentally make contact with an ear, the nose, or an eye, stop immediately and check in. It happens.

Staying “on-cheek” does means you’ll need to have good aim. Hence, beginning with spanking and softer face slaps. Master the fundamentals first, then you can get slaphappy.